Questions.

Should I try again?  Or should I find another job? Or should I find something better like a career?

Since the last posts regarding my personal life, the boyfriend is gone, the job is great but not the right one for me, and I'm training my replacements.  And it's just a job, it's not the right industry for me and although I like a lot of the people I work with, the company culture is not right for me.  If I'm going to be expected to do this much overtime it needs to be for something I can be more passionate about.

This time I would have to bring my Fuzzy (cat) with me.  She would have to live in the truck with me, can she handle it?  She is getting to be a old kitty, she has been my kitty for almost 10 years and I think she was 4 or 5 when I got her.  Will the heat/cold be too much for her?  She would also limit my options as some places have no pet policies, especially if I want to do SCA again. but that brings me to, will I do SCA again?

My brain is racing around in circles and it's one of those decisions I need to make myself.

Under the assumption that I might do this I'm working on a Facebook page do do in tandem with the blog.  https://www.facebook.com/WanderingCostumer/ it is not yet to the point of being live, but I'm working on it.

Weight

Food.  I know I have food issues.  I can actually forget to eat to the point of light headed and faint from the lack of caloric intake.  On the other hand I actually do enjoy the flavors and nuances and just the actual act of eating.  So I have done the thing where I only eat one meal a day and that meal is my entire caloric needs for the day.  But now with my picky eating I can not do that as much anymore.  And that is because of French fries.  No more fries for me, best diet move I could ever make.  I can not even resort to just getting sweat potato fries because those are not always safe as most of them are colored with paprika.  Most breaded and fried food has paprika in the breading.  And when I get to much trace amounts of paprika I am not happy.  So basically no more fried food for me (and I like the fried food).  This means that I am having a lot more issues with some of the side effects of not eating enough: extra moody and just faint.  Also I am much more aware of upset tummy and indigestion when I make mistakes and eat nightshades.  I'm also noticing the stress of situations affecting my tummy and that is unfortunately new.  As a bonus to not eating enough I've lost five pounds since school started, I unfortunately know that it is not the right way to have lost the weight, and I hope that I can get myself back on track and actually lose it the right way.  I hope to also continue trying to eat healthier and get out walking while out and about.

Stress adds to my problem, in that I start not eating, I am to busy to take time for food, or nothing sounds appetizing, or really I just don't care and the fancy flavors are not helping release endorphins in my brain thus making me more lazzefaire about it.  I'm not eating, not sleeping and not taking care of myself.  This is not a good thing.  I need my job to not be affecting my health.  I need the fresh air and more walking and just the less stress.

Goals

As I've been reading more and more, one of the things I've realized is that sometimes we need a goal beyond just wandering.  And although I like the idea of just wandering, someone told me I need a goal or an accomplishment to work toward.  My mother also mentioned that she wants me to have a goal, I don't think this is what she had in mind.  But, since I'm a wandering costumer, I decided that I need to make garb for a complete stranger in each of the 50 states.  I can do that.  Then you know how ideas are, they sometimes get a life of their own. As the idea roams around in the brain and comes out to play by talking to people about the idea, it slowly will morph and change and grow into an even bigger and better idea.

This means that my idea of making garb in each of the 50 states has morphed and now includes keeping scraps from each of the projects, cut the scraps into the shape of their respective state, and appliqueing  it into a quilt.  For states that have extra different scraps keep them to use for water or other background objects, or maybe just piece the state together.  And I would have to do parts of Canada.  But look at all the dots on my new map of North America (ie places I can drive to):


I'm still missing a few states but I suspect that I will be able to pick up some of them by asking around when I get closer.  Only worry would be Alaska and then finding the money to fly to Hawaii.

And then there are the places I can not drive to, but hope to one day make it to:

So really what is my goal?  To try to figure out and understand myself better.  To decide what I want to do in my future.  I currently don't know but I need to figure out what I'm going to do when I run out of gas money.  I have many different ideas running through my mind, but I believe that this isn't a problem I'm going to have for at least six months.  I will have to look at it again after I finally get my last paycheck from teaching at the end January, and determine when I have to actually be back in California for other reasons.  Anyhow now that I actually quit my job, I have to get my butt in gear and start on that list of things I need to do to actually make my scheme happen.  Now to go back to figuring out camper shell.